Word of Encouragement.

We tend to dwell on the negatives in life when we should really be focused on the positive. We constantly cause ourselves more stress than necessary. Step back, take a deep breath, and know that you are loved beyond measure by someone who died to know you. You are blessed and highly favored by the creator of the stars and the moon. Your very being is so precious that the maker of it all holds you in the palm of his hand. Don’t think for one second that nobody cares about you, because right now in this very moment, there is a King standing by just waiting to pick you up and take you higher than you’ve ever been. There is a place so beautiful, the streets you walk on will be made of gold. There is a man so spotless and radiant, you will lay eyes on him and never be able to look away.
Do not sell yourself short. You are worth so much more. You were made to fit him perfectly. You are a living, breathing, miracle, as if he didn’t know he was making something so beautiful.
When you are weary, he will give you rest.
When you are weak, he will make you strong.
When you are anxious, he will give you peace.
Lift up your head to the One who showers you in mercy and grace daily.
You are fearfully and wonderfully made.
You are not worthless.
You mean so much more than you know..

Take the Mask Off.

You don’t have the slightest clue of what I’ve seen. I wake up everyday just hoping that maybe you could feel my pain. As the throbbing grows stronger, my heart becomes weaker. Let me lie down in your green pastures as you said. The warmth of the air lets me know that I’m not dead. Never before have I felt so empty, never thought that I could care any less but look, you kept me. Safe under your wing protecting me from myself. Until the day I let you down, you gave up on me and I lost all of my being. People tell me to cheer up, they ask me what’s wrong, but all i want everyone to do is to just leave me alone.

Take the Mask Off.

You don’t have the slightest clue of what I’ve seen. I wake up everyday just hoping that maybe you could feel my pain. As the throbbing grows stronger, my heart becomes weaker. Let me lie down in your green pastures as you said. The warmth of the air lets me know that I’m not dead. Never before have I felt so empty, never thought that I could care any less but look, you kept me. Safe under your wing protecting me from myself. Until the day I let you down, you gave up on me and I lost all of my being. People tell me to cheer up, they ask me what’s wrong, but all i want everyone to do is to just leave me alone.

Few Will Understand..

What you just did hurt more than a shot.

Don’t lie to me, you think I’m stupid but I’m not.

I can see it in your eyes, hear it in your tone.

Is it really that hard for you to just say no?

I can’t understand a word that you’re saying.

The outside looking in will see me and I’ll take the blame.

But it’s okay, Mommy’s here and I’ll never let you go.

Where we went wrong, I have no idea.

Utopia was just around the corner for us but you ruined it, ruined it all.

Where were you when the whole world saw me fall?

So I just found out, got the news today.

Bittersweet message is heading your way.

I know you don’t care, you don’t care at all.

But maybe when the day comes, you’ll answer my call.

I feel so alone, so alone and distraught.

In my mind, you were the one who would never leave me, but wait.

Let me give that one another thought..

Here we again, I lost the race.

Got second place.

But that’s what I always am in your eyes, right?

You told me we could work it out, even when things got tight.

But there we go, another lie.

One day, these blows will take my life.

I’m here and you’re not.

Left dying and alone, and soon I will rot.

But I’ll take you with me, only in my heart.

Maybe then will you feel my pain, even though we’re apart.

I hope this hurts, I hope it kills you.

‘Cause what you’ve done has made me come to hate you.

You’re so unattractive when your eyes are bloodshot.

bloodshot? shot blood, running down your face ’cause you thought you could.

But I see you’ve over done yourself, your body can take no more.

While your family drowns in worry, you’ve gotten to the point where you have no core.

You’re nothing, youre worthless.

Go get that tatted on your sleeve.

You threw your life away for the sake of your “need”.

Stand up now, be proud.

Show your son what you’re all about.

He’ll know it’s you, you guys look just alike.

You just let me know when your precious time is right.

This is the fourth time now that I’ve brought it up.

You keep pushing me away, and you have pressed your luck.

I thought what we had was real and unbreakable.

But the substances of this world are more than able.

So go ahead, follow your friends down that road.

I won’t be there when you get to the deadend and there’s no where left to go.

Look at our lives and how our paths have grown.

My life with you is the saddest love story the world has ever known.

Day 7.

I honestly don’t have much to talk about tonight. But the past couple days I’ve been really thinking about my best friend Stephen. It doesn’t matter what day it is or what time it is, we hang out! Even if were broke, we just hang around the house, watch tv, eat junk food, whatever. We have confessionals every week and tell each other huge secrets. He’s like my other half. Although we fight like cats and dogs, i love him to death. I don’t  think he knows how much i love him. Over the last 6 months, we have both gone through some big changes. And when everyone else left him hanging i was there for him. And when everyone else left me hanging, he was there for me. So whoever your closest friends are, appreciate them. All the time, no matter what. I almost lost Stephen a couple years back, due to a really bad car wreck. It was then that i realized i took him for granted. A lot of people did. But since then, even when i feel like strangling him, i can’t help but smile and thank God that he’s still here with me. So be careful, and appreciate the ones  you love. You could lose them.
Well that’s all that was really on my mind today.
Have a good night bloggers!
“My friends are the people who would try to drown a fish.”
-yours truly<3

Day 6.

Just Dance.

That’s all I can say. I mean I honestly don’t understand how I can be THAT out of shape. My friend Stephen and I picked out a song then hit start. At the beginning it was actually pretty simple. Just a little swaying here and there….and bam! It bursts into this complicated step dance that I couldn’t keep up with to save my life. I was soooo uncoordinated, it would have made baby monkeys cry. About 30 seconds into the song, I was sweating like a pig and gasping for air. Who would have known?

45 seconds into the song, I was crouched over feeling a cramp coming on. But I am a very sore loser so I was not about to give up yet. You would think there would be an interlude or something where you can just stand there and catch your breath but no. There wasn’t. I actually thought that Just dance would be the death of me. There’s a point to why I’m saying this. Almost there.

10 seconds left. I’m outta breath. Can’t feel my legs. And my heart is about to beat right out of my chest. I pathetically finish the stupid song and then I thought to myself, maybe I should try to get into shape. Yeah right..

A couple weeks ago, a friend and I decided to make a deal. Over the summer we will try and lose some weight, get all slim and sexy. Whoever loses the least amount of weight has to treat the other to dinner and a movie. And pay for it all. Soooooooo, me being the cheapskate I am was determined to be the winner. I’ve cut back on what I eat and how much I eat. Tonight, a couple friends and I went to Longhorn Steakhouse and while everyone around was chowing down on a big, juicy, delicious, mouth-watering, steak…..I was eating what they call a “Strawberry-Pecan Salad”. To be completely honest, it wasn’t too bad and I did have the cheapest ticket. So I guess it was a win win because get this, one of the friends who was eating the big ole steak was the friend I am doing this weight loss contest with. SCORE.

But anyways, playing Just Dance showed me how physically out of shape I really am. So I think I might start walking or jogging or going to the gym or something…..hmmmm.

Well, Family Guy is now on so I’m gonna stop here. Have a good night bloggers.

“Love is like a booger, you just keep picking at it until you get it, then wonder what to do with it.”

 -yours truly<3

Day 5.

Your love hits me like a rush of wind in the winter cold. Your touch makes my heart skip a beat. Your love is absolutely beautiful, oh so beautiful. Your friendship quenches my every thirst. Your tenderness soothes my soul. I can’t breathe, I can’t live without your love. Your wonderful love that has swept me off my feet. How can I expect more? I can barely keep myself on the floor. I can taste you like honey on my lips. I can feel your presence and automatically become overwhelmed with relief. You’re everything my heart could wish for, everything I ever dreamed of. You’re like the song in my head that keeps playing over and over again. I get chills through my entire body and the hairs on my neck stand when you embrace me. I get butterflies in my stomach when I feel your strong gaze over me from the sky. I wish I could explainmy love for you better. I know I have a pathetic way of showing my affection and sometimes it’s even hurtful to you but dont give up on me. Wait. You never will.I’m begging you to be my sweet escape. Take me away, never let me go. I need you to hold me and love me for always, forever. It’s hard to sit here and watch you walk away. To hear your footsteps become more faint to my eardrums. I’m on my knees pleading my case, I just got carried away by your sweet and tender embrace. I feel the consequences coming upon me like a dark summer night. I feel my heart beating through my chest waiting for you to turn around, turn around and come back. I’m sorry. I know I messed up and I’m willing to fix it, let me fix it. I’m scared to say the three little words. How dare I say little? To be quite frank, these three little words are the very essence of who I am. They make my world turn round and round. You are my everything. I am overwhelmed by the power and undertaken by the fall. My tongue stumbles as I try to find the right words to say….

“Some call it love, I call it weakness.”

 -yours truly<3

Day 4.

Life is good. But life is complex. It is what YOU make of it. Today made me realize that everyday that you grow up, which is everyday, you learn more about the people in your lives. You learn who your true friends are, who your true friends aren’t. You get bashed and stepped on by every person as they walk in and out of your life, and somehow along the way, you find yourself.

Graduating from high school was definitely the best thing that has ever happened to me so far, but I can already tell who I was just an object to through the past couple years. Over the past couple of months, I have taken a spill into a completely different group of friends. They are crazy and stupid 90% of the time but they have truly given me a new way to life. I have made more mistakes and slips than ever before, but I am realizing that I am going to do that throughout my life no matter what. They have given me a back bone and changed my perspective on life. If I could go back in time to when I was just a little kid with no cares in the world, I might. But I’ve heard them say that the first cut is the deepest. So the road must get easier from here right. To all the people out there who think you got it all figured out, you’re wrong. Just wait till the people you trusted most stab you in the back. Think they won’t? Wrong again. They will, I promise. And instead of being a melodramatic child about it, wear your heart on your sleeve proudly. Be ready to get hurt, and maybe shed some blood and tears. Intead of avoiding it, embrace it. Be strong about who YOU are. Stop backing down to people you don’t want confrontation with. Many people will probably disagree with me but you have to at least consider it. Is what you’re doing now really working out for you? Adulthood is slapping you in the face, what you’ve wanted since you were what? 12? So take it on like there’s nothing to lose ’cause in the end, there is nothing to lose. You can’t take anything to heaven, or hell for that matter, except YOU. So make sure YOU are anything and everything you were made to be. Go past your limits. Achieve your goals, then make bigger ones. Stop wollowing in self pity. No one is suffering except for you. So instead of causing yourself pain, cause yourself the joy of a lifetime. We all deserve it. Make mends with enemies you’ve had the longest, and don’t be afraid to take a step back from the closest people in your life. Pay attention to others. People you wouldn’t usually give the time of day. You’ll learn many new things that will teach you more about YOU. I’m in the middle of this phase and it is showing me things. I’m in a 24 hour, 7 days a week, reality check. Now it’s your turn.

Thanks for  reading this bloggers, and have an awesome night.

“Experience is not what happens to you, it’s what you do with what happens to you.” -Aldous Huxley

 -yours truly<3

Day 3.

Today, I woke up and the tattoo on my foot is finally beginning to heal. It’s been swollen for the past two days so I haven’t been able to do much. So i decided to get out for a bit. My friend, Nicole, and I went to eat at an awesome restaraunt, Slim Chickens. There aren’t a bunch of branches of it yet but it is a steady growing business so I’m sure they will start spreading all around the country. I absolutely love their chicken! It’s always fresh, never frozen. So anyways, after eating, we went to the mall and looked around for cute clothes and decorative things for our dorm. As I was walking through the clothing stores, I realized that there are not a lot of bigger sized clothes hardly in any of the stores. Actually most stores went up to maybe a size 14, but after that, nothing. I found that very disturbing because I know there are plenty of people out there who are larger than size 14. I think the stores need to up their sizes and honestly, what’s wrong with that? It would get them more business, which means more money and isn’t that what it’s all about? Also, more than half the clothes in every store I went into were skimpy and revealing. We wonder why all the young girls walk around with EVERYTHING their mother gave them just hanging out. Well frankly, they don’t have much to choose from. Some of the clothes I saw today were just pathetic. And the prices! The prices were outrageous for the little piece of material that I guess was made to cover your body? Right. Okay, I’ll change the subject now. Glad I got that off my chest. Anywho, tonight Nicole and I are going to the movies to see the infamous HANGOVER 2. I absolutely loved the first one and by the looks of it, I think I’m going to like this one as well. I have seen dozens of previews and I must admit, it looks quite hilarious. My favorite character is Alan. In the previews I noticed he has shaved his head completely bald and I know he is probably going to be doing lots of more crazy stunts. I’m pumped. So I guess we’ll see how good of movie this is! By the way, I made it through the storms last night. Obviously. From what I know, there were no casualties so that’s always a good thing. It reallly wasn’t bad at all. I guess everyone was just being extra careful due to what just happened in Joplin, MO on sunday.Well I’m going to go and start making myself look pretty for tonight. Have an awesome night bloggers!

 “They say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one.” -John Lennon

  -yours truly<3

Day 2.

So I live in Jonesboro, Arkansas and if you watch the news at all, you know why I’m saying this. There have been deadly tornadoes all around us the past few days and now it’s been predicted that there’s going to be another line of horrible storms all day long today and they are coming right for Jonesboro. I guess you could say I’m a bit scared, mostly because everyone else is freaking out. But we also can’t forget what happened in Joplin, Missouri. There is lots of damage, many people dead, and still a great amount of people missing. The town was completely destroyed. Now it’s time for us to hope and pray that we don’t have a reapeat of that here. I’ve been in tornadoes, hurricanes, thunderstorms, and even blizzards, but have never lost my home, or a loved one due to the natural disaster. So I’m hoping I can say this statement again tomorrow when it’s all over.

Anyways, since there are going to be storms tonight, my best friend, Stephen, is coming over tonight. We will probably sit around, watch horrible television shows that will cut our IQs in half, eat junk food that we will be able to see hit our thys as we eat it, and soon after fall asleep.  It’s going to be awesome! Kinda sounds like what we do every night though. Is there something wrong with that? hmmmmm..maybe! Oh well.

Well wish me and everyone else in the danger zone luck as we undertake these storms. Hopefully I don’t lose electricity. I dont know if I can live without electricity.. But yeah enjoy the rest of your day bloggers.

“I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity” -Edgar Allan Poe

-Yours truly<3